The start of Loneliness...

Finally, I am back from Singapore. First thing when arrive is to go back to office. Work...work…and work…. I just feel so much pressure from all the work. Then I have class again at night.

Things are just not right. I don’t know why. But I feel very down. It feels….. I don’t know how to explain it. But, I don’t like the feeling. I am starting to miss him a lot. Whenever I think of him I really want to cry.

I feeling much stress and depress at the same time. I don’t know why as well. Maybe I am getting a lot of work load from work and also the pressure and stress is there. I have two cases for this week and two big ones for next week. What more… I have exam this week as well. I really don’t know how to cope anymore. I have so many things and I really want to clear them off as soon as possible and yet I can’t get it done. I feel like 24 hours a day is really not enough. What more I am also very tired each time when I am back from work. Every time I am back from work, after I bath, I really want to sleep. But, I can never do that as I still have so much of my own things to settle. First, will be my studies, and secondly will be about my personal life.

Till today, I have still not started my proposal and also project. I really don’t know when I will start it and when only I will have the time to read up all the materials that I am suppose to. My memory is also a big problem. I am beginning to have really bad memory. I keep forgetting this and that, and making tons of mistakes in my report. Well, even though they are not big mistakes, but there are careless mistakes. Sometimes, it just makes me feel so useless and makes me start thinking that, “Am I suitable for this job or not?”

At the same time, I feel very lonely here. Especially, after coming back from Sg makes me feel the loneliness even more then ever. I missed all my coursemates that I always hand out with. I miss those times that all of us go eat and window shopping together and how we spent so much time in Niichi in Queensbay. Shit….!!! I really miss all of them a lot, and HATE the fact that I am here all alone!!!!!!!!!!!