Admiration. Proud?

It has been countless of times that people around me or my friends tells me that they truly admires me for what I am doing. Just this afternoon, I have a very close colleague and ex-colleague telling me again of that.

It really had me thinking. Am I Proud? Am I not?

Well, the answer is NO. I am not proud of what I doing right now. Countless times I have doubts on myself. Countless times I am regretting my decision to both work and study. To be honest, at times I can't believe that I am doing this and that I am very stupid to choose this path. Why?

Looking through the number of sufferings that I have to go through. It's really a hell of a time and a path to take. I may not appreciate this at this moment. BUT, I will in the future when I take a walk down memory lane.

The truth is, I HATE ppl asking me how to cope with work and studies, as both are equally so important. Well folks, my answer is... "You have no choice but to cope with it." Well... common... look at my life. It's like good as dead. My face is getting horrible with all the acne and pimples + I even have gastric now, and it's all due to stress.

Best part is that, I have signed up for my dissertation as well. So, Ladies and Gentlemen, I will be finishing my MA next year. Please give me all the support you can give. Cause I really don't need admiration as I am not proud of what kind of a hell I am going through. What I really need from everyone is motivation and support.